Far away office

It’s that time of year again when your car struggles with inclines, there are strange noises every time you turn it on, it stalls at every red light, and your dashboard light starts flickering like it’s in a disco. When these things happen, you just know that your bank account is going to take a hit. I tend to be one of those people who stay on top of getting their car serviced. It helps that I have a Queanbeyan car service mechanic that I trust. I’ve called him up and I will be taking my car over next week. 

 

I’m not too sure what is causing the problem with the car at the moment. I assume it’s just a wear and tear issue given that I drive this car every day. My office is an hour away from home and I’m driving in peak hour traffic. Given the circumstances, it’s only expected that my car wears out quicker than most. At least it’s still under warranty and I am entitled to a logbook service.

 

I haven’t told anyone this but I am looking for employment closer to home. This hour drive there and an hour drive back is absolutely killing me. I have to wake up super early and by the time I get home, I feel wrecked. Plus, the amount I am spending on petrol is ridiculous. I’m starting to think it’s not worth it. When I first took this job I lived closer to that area but my wife and I moved out here to be closer to her family as they can help us with our son when both of us are at work. I don’t like to complain too much about how the move has inconvenienced me as far as my commute to and from work. I really don’t want to sound unappreciative and I don’t want my wife to feel like it’s her fault when it’s a decision we made together. I’ll keep you all posted on the job hunt but somehow I don’t think it will be easy.

Keep cars safe

Owning a car is like having a pet. You need to feed it with fuel, find somewhere safe for it to stay at night, try not to wear it out, and take it for trips to the mechanic to check everything is ok. If the transport system was more convenient where I live, I honestly think I would just rely on catching the train and bus everywhere. However, I do suppose there are a lot of flexibilities that come with having a car. The first is you don’t have to rely on a train or bus schedule to get you where you need to be. Train and bus schedules aren’t always reliable and if you need to catch multiple trains to get somewhere your plans can easily be screwed if a train gets cancelled or delayed. I’ve had that happen a few times. Actually, the more I think about it I’m starting to realise that I don’t like trains at all. Give me a car any day!

I guess I need to book in for a car service. Bankstown is an area that makes me heavily reliant on my car so I really do need it to be running in top condition. On the weekends I also drive my car for a rideshare company for some extra cash. As I’m a university student, all the extra bits of money I can acquire definitely help. I’m studying engineering at the moment so it’s not like I can be a freelance engineer to make cash. This is the only job I can actually do for now. Part of the rideshare company’s regulations is that we have a car that is running smoothly and safe for all customers. My car has been having some brake and clutch problems over the last few days so I need to get it sorted before the weekend. The weekend is peak time as a rideshare driver as that is when people are needing lifts to and from friends houses, drop-offs at parties, and pickups from clubs. 

Regretful Air Conditioning

My boyfriend of almost four years is leaving me to follow his dreams. How can I begrudge him of that? Him leaving hurts so much though. I had to sit back and smile when he went to Canada on exchange and now I have to sit back and smile after he leaves me for two years. The thing is I don’t have any choice. I can’t be the girlfriend that stands in the way of what he wants or he’ll resent me forever. My hands are tied unless I break up with him, which I don’t want to do.

Ever since he found out that he got into the uni of his choice two weeks ago, he’s been obsessed about it. He keeps talking about share houses and making sure that I’m comfortable when I visit. He promised to get air conditioning services in Canberra every month before I come to visit, and I just had to smile and pretend that I didn’t want to cry. He was doing the right thing by trying to make me feel better, but it didn’t really help. I love a nice cold air conditioner just as much as the next person, maybe even more, but I love my boyfriend more. I don’t want an air conditioner, I want a boyfriend who lives in the same state as me.

If you can’t tell, I’m really struggling with this. This is my personal blog and if I’m being honest, it’s the only place I feel like I can safely vent without seeming like a bad girlfriend. I wonder how poorly people would think of me if I told them I didn’t care about my boyfriend owning air conditioner installation in Canberra, if it meant that he wasn’t going to be around.

People tend to view those who stop other people following their dreams really badly. I don’t want to be viewed badly by others, so I guess I’ll just be sad for the next two years straight.

Symbolic Shell Earrings

I’m going to be honest, I’m not totally sold on the whole earring making idea. It seems like a lot of effort and I don’t know enough about colours or design to make them look good. The ones that I saw at the market yesterday were stunning, and it would take me the rest of my life to make earrings that look that good. I told my daughter this and she rolled her eyes. She said ‘Isn’t that the exact reason you’re looking for a hobby anyway? You want to find something to do for the rest of your life?’. I hate when she’s right. 

And so, even though I don’t know if I want to be a part of the Melbourne made earrings scene for the rest of my life, I told my daughter I’d give it a go. My husband is really on board with this, he just wants me to find something that makes me happy. That’s what I want too, so even though I’m sceptical, I hope it’s this. 

My daughter and I are going to go shopping together for supplies next week. I love spending time with her and so I’m looking forward to it. It’s ironic actually that I spend the entire workweek looking forward to the weekend, only to dread the idea of an eternal weekend in less than a year’s time. Our brains work in mysterious ways.

I’m going to buy a lot of shells to make shell earrings with. I feel like shell earrings are something that will never go out of style, and I’d be happy to wear them myself, so it doesn’t matter if I make heaps and never sell them. The ocean has been a big part of my family’s life, and I think my daughter and husband will appreciate the symbolism of me choosing shells to decorate my earrings with. 

I’m getting a bit more excited about the project.

Overwhelming Dental Fear

I’m about to take you on a five-part recount of my life. My life has been filled with many ups and downs, including many triumphs and many failures, but the biggest triumph of my life to date was finally getting over my fear of dentists. It was only yesterday that I conquered my lifelong fear, and I’m going to take you back to the start of it, so you know just how much of a big deal this really is.

My fear of dentists started when I was six years old and it became apparent that my back molars weren’t going to form properly. They did X-rays and all that kind of stuff, which scared me enough as it was, but what really threw me over the edge was when they told my parents that I needed cosmetic dentistry services which involved needles and fillings and all-around terror. It was just too much for six year old me. I saw the massive needle they were about to put in my mouth and ran for the door faster than I had ever run before. I’ll never get the image of that gun looking thing out of my mind, even twenty years on.

About a year later I needed dental implants. Bayside, where I lived when I was young, was a great place to be, but the dentists were so on top of my treatment that I was petrified. I couldn’t help but think that they just liked sticking things in my mouth and making it go numb. I begged my parents not to make me get the implants because I seriously thought I’d die on the dentist’s chair. My fear got less intense over the years, seeing as I did eventually stop believing that I’d die from dental work, but it lingered in the front of my mind up until I conquered it yesterday. 

How did I conquer my fear you ask? See part two.

Changed My Mind

After my most recent blog post, I received a lot of hate messages. I claimed that the new direction of Sponge Boy was terrible and that it was spitting on the original concept of the show. My readers were quick to tell me that I was clearly just holding onto my nostalgic view of the old show, refusing to look for any good elements of the new show. I was told to watch the film that just came out without judging it so harshly, so I actually did.

And you know what? I’ll admit that I was wrong on this one. I still hate the idea of CGI Policeman Sam, Pilot Pat and Carrots in Costumes, but I’ll admit that I was way off here. For some reason, Sponge Boy doing air conditioning repair close to Dandenong just works. I can’t put my finger on it, but it’s good stuff. I guess opening up the world really let the writers come up with some fresh ideas which will keep the show going for years to come.

I don’t know what I was talking about when I accused Jerry the steel wool of being an unoriginal character. He’s hilarious! Far better than Rick ever had the potential to be. I love that Jerry lives in a bottle, whereas Rick lived under a rock. That’s just boring. Living in a bottle is so genius. It opens up countless opportunities for comedy and is a great metaphor for the character.

When Sponge Boy went to do his last job for the year, helping people with their air conditioning near Cranbourne, I almost cried. It’s just so beautiful, seeing Sponge Boy help people get their cooling systems working again. It is a much more emotionally rewarding job than cooking burgers for people.

Of course, I’m being super sarcastic here. I still think that the new Sponge Boy direction is awful. If you disagree with me, that’s fine, but I would appreciate not getting threatening messages for expressing my opinion.

Exposing the Truth

Hi friends! It’s Benson Brabson here again, reporting for duty! If you didn’t catch my last guest post, let me fill you in on who I am and why you should care. I’m an up-and-coming documentary filmmaker with a hot connection to a top-secret laboratory said to be in cahoots with the World Bureau of Investigations.

 

What does that mean, exactly? It means I’m on a mission to expose the extraterrestrial happenings being concealed from the public by the so-called Bureau, and set straight the lies they’ve been feeding us to cover up the truth. And, uh, what is the truth, exactly? Well, thank you for asking. I’ll let you know just as soon as I’ve exposed it.

 

There’s a lot to organise. From research and preliminary interviews to marketing, video production and editing, not to mention distribution and fighting off the inevitable spectre of censorship, the project sometimes feels insurmountable. I know I’m up to it, though – I’m fuelled by a fiery belief that the truth is, indeed, out there.

 

When I say ‘out there’, I mean at the  lab in Geneva. This is the most pressing and difficult hurdle. Getting there would be hard enough at the best of times, let alone at a time when international travel is all but out of the question. Also, the current funding for the project is essentially my  savings, which totals about $2700. That would barely buy me a ticket to Switzerland, leaving nothing for essential production costs.

 

What if… what if I carried out my inquiry via Whoomble? You know Whoomble, right? It’s a video conferencing app that’s become popular with criminals, because it’s so secure. Not that I’ll be doing anything illegal, obviously, but I wouldn’t want my research calls getting into the hands of the Bureau.

 

Unfortunately, the video quality on Whoomble is pretty atrocious. For this plan to work, I’ll need to hire a video production company in Melbourne to fill out the visuals. In all honesty, the film will probably come out looking way better for it – I mean, have you seen what your average science lab looks like?

 

Stay tuned for more progress.

Brand New Car

Six months ago I wrote a blog post about teaching my boyfriend to drive. Well, to update you all, we have now been dating for three years and he successfully passed his driving test last week! I can’t explain enough how proud I am of him. He’s spent the last six months overcoming some really deep-seated fears and has come out the other side. He still has instances where he chooses not to drive, but when he needs to, he does! I think the longer he has his license the more he’ll choose to drive places rather than get public transport.

Over the last six months, he’s been really happy with how my car has driven. He’s chosen to buy a similar car to mine and maybe even visit the same car mechanic. I’m completely on board with this. I’ve always lived by the motto ‘don’t fix what ain’t broke’ which applies to this situation perfectly. We’ll be so cute with our matching cars parked side by side in the driveway. Oh, and by the way, we moved in together last month! It’s safe to say that things are going very well between the two of us. They say when you know you know… well, I know, and I think he does too.

He’s chosen to buy a brand new car, which I understand. He could buy a second-hand version of the car that I have, but I think he’ll feel safer knowing that the car is in a perfect condition and hasn’t been potentially messed up by the previous owner. He’s a really smart and cautious man, and I would never question any of his reasoning behind something this important. Once he’s bought the car, he’s going to immediately go and get his first auto service. Close to Moorabbin as my mechanic is, there’s a chance he may want to choose one of his own. That could be good for our relationship, I guess.

Confronting the Imposter

Given that Lucian in Tommy’s (my) body was ruining my business with his lack of marine welding knowledge, I didn’t have a choice but to take him out. It was the only option. I simply couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t stand to see a single other blog post about confusing snapper racks for bow rails. What would you have done in my situation?

It was late in the day when I finally arrived at the Melbourne docklands, having spent most of the day travelling by public transport. With a baseball bat in hand, I made my way toward the boat and the imposter who had somehow gotten into my body. All my customers, seeking the best marine stainless steel fabrication service Melbourne has to offer, had gone home for the day, probably dissatisfied with the service. That would change when I was done with Lucian-Tommy. Or would it be better to call him Tommy-Lucian? I don’t know. This whole thing has been so confusing.

As I reached the front of my boat-shop, I gripped the baseball bat tight. This was it. The moment I’d end this ridiculous situation and get my shop back on track. I snuck onto the boat, listening out for any sign of the imposter. I heard him upstairs, wondering aloud what a bait board even did. Stepping through the doorway, I revealed my location. I struck the baseball bat in my hand, drawing the imposter’s attention.

“Lucian,” I said, “it’s time for this to end. I can’t take it anymore, reading about your failures with my marine welding shop. I think it’s time we took this outside.”

“Take this outside? You mean…”

“That’s right. I’m going to take you to a cafe and teach you all about marine welding so that you can cover for me until I work out how to lift this strange curse.”

Lucian tilted his head at me. “Oh, I thought you meant something completely different. What’s the baseball bat for, then?”

I shrugged. “I thought we could play a game of baseball after getting something to eat. I can see how that would be misleading, though.”

The Final Pieces

I continued walking along the beach until I came upon a cave in the cliffs. It seemed to go in deep, so far that light ceased to exist. I pulled out my phone, flicked on the flashlight and stepped inside. Would I find the missing bait board or snapper rack here?

With two of the objects I needed to gather from the destroyed remains of the Atlantis obtained, I was close to getting the power promised by the Heart of the Deep. So I headed into the cave without fear, intending to finish my quest as soon as possible.

I may have brought no more skills to the table than your average marine fabrication service near Melbourne, but here I was much more. I was an adventurer. A hero that would reunite the lost pieces of the Atlantis and be rewarded by a dark patron.

After about five minutes of walking through the dark caves, I entered a large cavern filled with treasure. Countless gold pieces glittering in my torchlight like stars. It was enough to make a man rich. But I didn’t have eyes for that. Instead, my heart leapt at the sight of a bait board

“So, you have almost done it.”

I nearly leapt out of my boots at the sound of his voice. I turned around and saw a figure in a long trench coat. In his hands, he held a shiny snapper rack. The last piece.

“Bravo, bravo, I say. You’ve almost united the four blessed pieces of the Atlantis and brought balance to the seas. Or at least, that’s what the Heart of the Deep told you, isn’t it?”

“What are you talking about?” I asked. “Hand that over and let me complete my task.”

The man sighed. “You’re a fool, just as I once was. The Heart of the Deep has played you like a violin. I’ll be taking this piece, ensuring that it is never reunited with its siblings. Farewell, Gillan Neptune. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll go home and forget all about that vision you had.”

With a vicious sucking of the air, the man vanished. In his place, only a small object remained. A car service logbook?

– Gillan Neptune