Obsessed With Glass

For some reason, my girlfriend has this thing for glass. I went to her house the other day, and there was just glass everywhere. Glass doors, glass windows, glass television, glass microwave. It’s crazy. I don’t know why she is so obsessed with it, but honestly, it’s starting to weird me out a little. Every time I go out with her, she insists that I wear glasses, even though I have no need for them. She wears glasses too, even though she’s got 20/20 vision. All she’s been talking about lately is how she’s looking for residential glazing, which I have to give my opinion on.

I didn’t even realise they had glass versions of all these objects. Whose idea was it to make glass cutlery? I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad idea, but I’m not sure what the purpose is. Next, she’s going to come out and tell me there’s such a thing as glass clothing. That would be a bit weird if she demanded I go to a restaurant in glass pants.

It makes it pretty easy to buy gifts for her, though. I can just go on a crafts website and choose literally anything made out of glass. If our relationship gets really serious, a glass ring will cost less than a diamond one, too. And I’ve always liked the look of the glass balustrades across Melbourne, so that would be nice to have at our future house. Maybe I shouldn’t be complaining.

After all, she hasn’t judged me for my house made of straw. Yes, I know the story of the three little pigs, but I’m not really worried about a wolf coming and blowing it down. That’s why I stay away from wolves in the first place. I don’t want to annoy any of them into destroying my home. But if they did come for my house, the straw man outside should be able to deal with them while I escape.