Regretful Air Conditioning

My boyfriend of almost four years is leaving me to follow his dreams. How can I begrudge him of that? Him leaving hurts so much though. I had to sit back and smile when he went to Canada on exchange and now I have to sit back and smile after he leaves me for two years. The thing is I don’t have any choice. I can’t be the girlfriend that stands in the way of what he wants or he’ll resent me forever. My hands are tied unless I break up with him, which I don’t want to do.

Ever since he found out that he got into the uni of his choice two weeks ago, he’s been obsessed about it. He keeps talking about share houses and making sure that I’m comfortable when I visit. He promised to get air conditioning services in Canberra every month before I come to visit, and I just had to smile and pretend that I didn’t want to cry. He was doing the right thing by trying to make me feel better, but it didn’t really help. I love a nice cold air conditioner just as much as the next person, maybe even more, but I love my boyfriend more. I don’t want an air conditioner, I want a boyfriend who lives in the same state as me.

If you can’t tell, I’m really struggling with this. This is my personal blog and if I’m being honest, it’s the only place I feel like I can safely vent without seeming like a bad girlfriend. I wonder how poorly people would think of me if I told them I didn’t care about my boyfriend owning air conditioner installation in Canberra, if it meant that he wasn’t going to be around.

People tend to view those who stop other people following their dreams really badly. I don’t want to be viewed badly by others, so I guess I’ll just be sad for the next two years straight.