My sister Claire is up to something, I just know it. What will it be this time? I don’t actually mind, as her hair-brained schemes tend to keep things interesting… as long as she’s not plotting something for my birthday. I’ve got the big 3-0 coming up and Claire’s insisting that I do something to mark my passage through my Saturn return, whatever the heck that is. I’ve told her I don’t want to make a big thing of it, but I’m starting to suspect she’s hatching a plan against my clearly stated wishes.
This morning she asked me if I’d had a foot palm reading recently. I told her the closest thing I’d had to that was a trip to the podiatry clinic, Cheltenham not really being a hotspot for divination. Secretly, I like… a foot palm reading? Who has ever heard of such a thing, let alone had one recently? Seriously, I never cease to be amazed by some of the things that Claire believes are normal parts of daily life.
Anyway, she then asked what my preferred location was for receiving psychic downloads. She was being quite sincere, so I opted to humour her and told her that it was while getting a pedicure. Might as well stay on topic with the foot business, I thought. She got quite excited about that, then told me to keep my birthday morning free for a trip to the nail salon. The way she said it, though, suggested what she had in mind was a ‘trip to the nail salon’, emphasis on inverted commas. Something’s up, I know it.
I thought of telling her I have a case of nail fungus. I desperately need to know about onychomycosis treament. I guess that wouldn’t really fly as an excuse given that my birthday’s not for several weeks, which would be enough time to get an anti-fungal treatment… I guess I could say that it was a really stubborn case. Somehow, I sense that even that wouldn’t be enough to deter Claire from her mission to get me a foot palm reading.